it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
