My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
