I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
