i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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