i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
