Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
