I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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