dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They took my balls.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
