Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
