i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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