HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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