so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
