i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
