There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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