Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
