i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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