Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
