Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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