His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
