I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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