This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
