Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
