Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
