i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
