I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
