Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
