i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
