The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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