The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
