He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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