Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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