some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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