It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
