Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
handjob tips. give me some.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
