Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
COCAINE IS GR8
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
