So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
