I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I didn't shave. On purpose
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
