im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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