First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
