I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
