Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
