I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
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