Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
