I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
