dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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