who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
