oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
