you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
