hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do vagina's smell?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
