she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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