Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
