i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
